Blog… Bloggage… Blogarino…

So, the almighty Hosh as been bugging me to blog more, but I don’t really know what to say. I mean, I could complain about someone, but everyone would know who it was and it wouldn’t fix the problem, so it would just be gossip, and I don’t feel like doing that. It’s just not cool.

So instead, I’ll give people something to pray about.

I need a camera. Like, a really nice video camera. Preferably the AG-DVX100 by Panasonic, which runs about $3k. I know that’s a lot, but that’s what I’m beleiving for. Pray for me.

8 Simple Rules…

I’m sure most people are aware of the TV show “8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter.” What most people don’t know, is that these rules were based on an article written by the man John Ritter’s character was based on.

 Here are the rules as presented in that original article. I was struck today by how much they are an accurate representation of how a dating relationship between two christians should be, especially with regard to how much respect should be shown to the girl’s father:

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist.

Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you.

Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make YOU cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process which can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places lacking parents, policemen, or nuns. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her chin. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay.

What do you think?

Disjointed

I don’t know what it is, but I’ve been feeling very disconnected lately. I even had a dream last night that a bunch of my friends and family were getting together at a restaurant and I got lost on my way to the table in the back of the restaurant. What do you think that means? Am I subconsciously growing away from my friends and family for some reason? Am I just a jerk? Does it have something to do with my past friend issues? See, all the people I thought were my friends stopped hanging out with me when they got married, and then when Suzy and I got engaged they went to Suzy’s sister behind my back and told her “We don’t think Peter is mature enough to get married.” Keep in mind, these are people who hadn’t spoken to me in a year. How did they know how mature I was or wasn’t?

So that’s why I tend to have trust issues as far as friends go. Is that what is going on now? I am interested in your opinion, so throw it out there. If I dont’ like it, I’ll just delete your post. Just kidding. Well, unless you’re a spammer. What’s up with that by the way? That sucks.